TheTwelve Days of Disco

Posted 23 December 2004 by Ian Musgrave

↗ The current version of this post is on the live site: https://pandasthumb.org/archives/2004/12/thetwelve-days.html

In the spirit of the season, Tom Lehrer, Weird Al Yankovic and overwhelming evidence, the Panda’s Thumb Offensive Morris Dancing Troop and Precision Yodelling Team bring you …
The Twelve days of DISCO

On the first day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. no original peer-reviewed work.

On the second day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work.

On the third day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work.

On the forth day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the fifth day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the sixth day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Six di-sulfide bonds. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the seventh day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Seven Dembski essays, six di-sulfide bonds. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the eight day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Eight egregious errors, seven Dembski essays, six di-sulfide bonds. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the ninth day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Nine Baraminologists bleating, eight egregious errors, seven Dembski essays, six di-sulfide bonds. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the tenth day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Ten obfuscating icons, nine Baraminologists bleating, eight egregious errors, seven Dembski essays, six di-sulfide bonds. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the eleventh day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Eleven Fellows chuming, ten obfuscating icons, nine Baraminologists bleating, eight egregious errors, seven Dembski essays, six di-sulfide bonds. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and no original peer-reviewed work

On the twelfth day of Christmas the DI gave to me .. Twelve Haeckels heckling, eleven Fellows chuming, ten obfuscating icons, nine Baraminologists bleating, eight egregious errors, seven Dembski essays, six di-sulfide bonds. Five IC things! Four flagella spinning, three misconceptions, two quote mines and ….
no original peer-reviewed work

9 Comments

Engineer-Poet · 23 December 2004

It seems that there should be a Discovery Institute blues.

You know they've got to have the blues...

Ian Musgrave · 23 December 2004

I woke up this morning, and found my baby was Irreducibly Complex...

Steve · 23 December 2004

Q: How many Bill Buckinghams does it take to ruin the Discovery Institute and ten years of creationism?
A: One!

Louis · 23 December 2004

I've always viewed the DI and AIG's output as a weird hybrid between badly done freeform jazz and extremely modern atonal classical music. Some of the sounds are familiar, you might occasionally recognise an instument, but they play like a boy band sings: with no real notes. It's the same skiffled riff and the same tune, just hopelessly mangled so that only the tone-deaf could think it was musical.

ArtK · 23 December 2004

Panda's Thumb Offensive Morris Dancing Troop

To paraphrase Edmund Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): "Forty effeminate biologists waving bits of cloth they've just wiped their noses on" Are we doing this one with sticks, swords or hankies? I've got my pennywhistle ready, and a spare set of bells if someone needs it. I can imagine a new dance, the "ID Morris." It's a stick dance and every time you're supposed to have a stick clash, everyone takes a mighty swing and misses, creating the the impression of much activity without achieving anything of significance.

ACW · 23 December 2004

Ian: Second line of blues:

Just cain't convince her ... to put down the Bible and have sex!

Ian Musgrave · 23 December 2004

Are we doing this one with sticks, swords or hankies? I've got my pennywhistle ready, and a spare set of bells if someone needs it.
— ArtK

Imagine the Lancre Morris Men and the Stick and Bucket Dance. ".. one and six, beetle crushers! [...] one, two, forward... bean setting!.. KILL!" Mind you, there are womens Morris teams these days, the sight of a group of athletic lasses weilding yard long willow staves is very .. arresting.. let me tell you.

I can imagine a new dance, the "ID Morris." It's a stick dance and every time you're supposed to have a stick clash, everyone takes a mighty swing and misses, creating the the impression of much activity without achieving anything of significance.
— ArtK

Oh my goodness! That is terrific, your idea is offically adopted (and the phrase now goes into the offical lexicon, beside the "Gish Gallop"). Now we have to work out the steps of the ID Morris.

Ian Musgrave · 23 December 2004

Just cain't convince her . . . to put down the Bible
— ACW

Good Blues usually uses euphemisms to describe conjugal acts, often involving trains (given the symbology and the dominant mode of transport in the classic blue era), or some reason, Jelly Rolls. I'm sure a bright person can use their imagination to find an appropriate euphemism to rhyme with irreducibly complex. For some reason, Haruspex keeps coming into my mind when I think of irreducibly complex, rather than any thoughts of mating behaviour.

Tom Morris · 24 December 2004

Perhaps, as a B-side we could do a cover version of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" called "Do They Know It's Creationism?" and send it to the Dover area and Cobb County school boards. I vote that Eugenie Scott does the lead vocal, and that we give out some "mad props" to the late Steven Jay Gould. Perhaps we could get MC Hawking to produce it.